Why You Need to Block Your Eating Disorder’s Number

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Living with an eating disorder is a lot like being in an abusive relationship. In the beginning, they charm you, they promise to make you feel safe, confident, and in control. But slowly, they take over your life, isolate you from the people you love, and convince you that you are nothing without them.

In the recovery world, we often use a tool called "externalization" to help people heal. This concept was made famous by author Jenny Schaefer in her book, Life Without Ed. Jenny named her eating disorder "Ed", treating it not as a part of who she was, but as a toxic, manipulative partner she desperately needed to leave.

The Tactic: How Ed Takes Control

An eating disorder doesn't happen overnight; it uses the same tactics as an abusive partner to slowly erode your confidence, self-worth, and identity.

• He isolates you: Ed doesn't want you going out to dinners with friends or celebrating holidays with family. He wants you alone in your room, tracking, worrying, and listening only to him.

• He moves the goalposts: No matter what you give him, it’s never enough. If you follow his rules today, he demands even stricter rules tomorrow.

• He gaslights you: Ed will convince you that your therapist, your doctor, and your family are the enemies and only he can make you happy. In reality, he is just terrified that they will help you see through his lies.

  
  

How to Break Up with Your Eating Disorder

Healing begins the moment you realize that you are not the problem, the eating disorder is.

Here is how to begin packing his bags for good:

• Learn to spot his voice: When you look in the mirror and hear a cruel comment, ask yourself: Is that me talking, or is that Ed? Separating your voice from his is your first major victory.

• Go 'No-Contact': In relationships, blocking an ex's number helps you move on. In recovery, "blocking Ed" means throwing away the scale, challenging a food rule, or choosing to feed your body even when he screams at you not to.

  
  

Life After Ed

Leaving a toxic relationship is terrifying, especially when you have forgotten who you are without them, but the most rewarding part of healing is the undeniable clarity of finally getting to meet your true self again.

Remember, leaving is hard, but freedom is better.